lennyoberg@hotmail.com
The Screenwriters Guild of America strike may disrupt the Golden Globe Awards:
I’m not a fan of Award shows. I lost all interest and was disillusioned years ago, 1967 to be exact, when I was watching the Academy Awards. One of the best songs of all times was Burt Bacharach’s’, “The look of love” I couldn’t believe it when it lost to Doctor Doolittle’s, “Talk to the animals” But that wasn’t the last “straw”, that honor went to the 1969 Academy Awards when Dustin Holman was nominated for “Best Actor” for his role of “Ratso Rizzo” in Midnight Cowboy, and he lost to John Wayne in “True Grit.” I couldn’t believe it! John wasn’t “Acting” he was just being “John Wayne”. Since then I refuse to watch any award shows, because they are obliviously rigged.
I know what you’re thinking, “Yes Lenny we all know that all awards shows are bogus, but what does this have to do with the Golden Globe Awards and the Screenwriters guild?” Funny you should ask. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not the worlds greatest writer, I do however, consider myself way better than James Joyce guy, as nobody has a clue as to what the hell he’s writing about.
With this being said; why the hell do they need writers for the Golden Globe awards? Just how hard is it to “write” for the Golden Globe Awards? Even I can do it. It’s a “No Brainer” Here’s all you have top do.
Presenters: And the nominees are… (Insert names here).
And the winner is… (Insert name here). (Hand Award to winner, step back and clap hands enthusiastically)
Winners: I want to thank the Academy for this Award.
(Cry and wipe tears from eyes) I couldn’t have done it without help from… (Insert names here).
(Look straight into the camera and give the impression of being serious) George Bush, stop this unjust war in… (Insert country name here)
That’s it. In fact you can use this template for any award show that you want, well maybe not for the “Country Music Awards” as it may be a little too complex for the average Country singer. And you would have to change the part about the “Unjust war” to “God Bless George Bush and pass the ammo”
Britney Spears loses visiting rights with her sons
First of all, who gives a fuck about Britney Spears? I mean, Paris Hilton, Lynsey Lohand, or perhaps Penelope Cruz, I can see that, but Britney, why is she in the news? Can anyone actually name one of her song? Was she in a major Movie or Film? At least Paris was the “Star” of her own movie.
But I digress. It appears that our girl had a “Break down.” Just how one can tell the difference between a ”Normal” Britney and a “Break down” Britney is well beyond my capability. Here I must quote Sigmund Freud, who in a season with Monica Loweski, said. “Sometime my dear Monica, A Cigar is just a cigar.” I’m not exactly sure what that quote has to do with Britney but I have learned in order to be considered a good writer you must throw in arbitrary “Quotes” every once in a while, as it will impress the critics, and have sentences that drag on and on and have no bearing what so ever on what your original point was at the beginning on the paragraph and then imply that the reader must be illiterate and rather dimwitted because he or she has no idea what you are talking about. Can I have an Amen…?
Now, when you or I have a “Break down” and someone calls the cops, maybe one police car would show up and the police officer would roll down the window of the squad car and shout, “Hey buddy, knock it off” and that would be that. But was this the same procedure granted to Britney? Hell no, there were 6 police cars, over 20 police officers, 2 ambulances, one fire truck and a helicopter! I’m not making that up, that’s true! Plus there was over 184,298 reporters and TV crews. Ok, I’m making that part up, but I bet I’m not that far off.
Spears was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in an ambulance, escorted by rows of police cars and the chopper flying overhead. During that same time period, there were 3 bank robberies, 7 homicides, and 17 vehicles were stolen. Unfortunately none of these crimes will be solved due to the lack of police personal available at the time.
This “story” has been the number one story on CNN, Fox News, AP, Google News, You Tube, and every TV network in the known world for over 4 days. The only “Story” to finally get more exposure today was “Britney 16 year old sister is pregnant!!!”
Can you imagine growing up in the “Spears” household? Never a dull moment…
The only thing that could make matters worst would be if someone like “Dr. Phil would have a 'psychological intervention'
Global Gas Prices
Here is an actual list of the average price of Gasoline in various countries from CNN.
US……………………. $3.10
Japan…… …………. $4.24
Saudi Arabia……. $.91
Venezuela………. $.12
Why is the US buying Crude Oil from the Middle East? It seems to me to make a hell of a lot more sense just buy gasoline from Venezuela. Being as I have nothing else to do, I worked out the numbers.
One 40’ container holds 58,800 lbs. The weight of one gallon of gasoline is about 6 lbs. Therefore one 40’ container can hold 9,800 gallons (178 barrels) of gasoline. The cost of 9800 gallons of Venezuelan gasoline would be $1,176.00. The cost to ship one container from Venezuela to California plus the cost of the gasoline is about $3,676.00. The cost of 9,800 gallons of gasoline in the US would be $30,380. This works out to a total saving of $26,704.00!!!
I don’t know about you, but if I have a choice between dealing with a bunch of radical Islamic fundamentals, or Hugo Chavez, I’ll take Hugo every time. I’d even make him “President for life” if it keeps the price of gas down.
If the US would buy all it’s gasoline from Venezuela, it would create more jobs there. Then all the Illegal immigrates (Mexicans) would migrate to Venezuela. It would be much easier on them as they would be able to speak the language. It’s a “Win-Win” situation
100,000 dead in Sudan
Does anybody really know just where Sudan actually is?
If only they had “Oil” we would have invaded long time ago, but since they don’t, what would be the point.
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