#9 (b) DEATH

I just saw the Angle of Death, the Grim Reaper, Death himself! I know this may be hard to believe but I'm telling you it true. It happened last week while I was driving back from San Diego with Loren. We had lunch with a friend of his, who had just signed the papers to join the Navy. He wanted to be on Submarines, and I use to be on old diesel boats back during the Vietnam War, which is why I can go to the V.A. hospital of my choice. Loren wanted me to talk to the kid, and kind of help steer him in the right direction. To be on Subs you must first volunteer and then score half way decent on the written exam. He had scored a 59, which he was very proud of. The only problem was it was 59 out of 135 so he was qualified to be a cook, or rather a mess cook, and work his way up to cook. I shook his hand and wished him luck, because he's really going to need it.

On the drive back up to Long Beach on the freeway, all cars must slow down and go through an immigration check, which is close by Camp Pendleton to see if there are any illegal aliens hiding in the trunk of your car. By the time we got there it wasn't too busy so the line had only backed up 1,237,379 miles or so. As we crept forward a few inches at a time I glanced up into the rear view mirror and that's when I looked death right in the face! The grim reaper was right behind us, and driving a white, late model Chevy!

His head was tilted back at a 45-degree angle (no goddamn degree symbol either!) His skin was pulled so tight over his face that you could clearly see the outline of all the bones in his skull. I couldn't see his eyes, only black sockets where they once may have dwelled, but had long since vacated. His hands were in the classic 10:00 and 2:00 position on the steering wheels; or at 9:00 and 3:00, I can never remember. Either way, they were wrapped around the steering wheel in a death grip, which now that I think about it, could be the only way the grim reaper can hold just about anything. His mouth was wide open, not just open, it was like he was reciting the alphabet and when he got to "O" he mouth just froze. He was wearing a black suit with a white shirt and a thin black tie.

"Loren, there's a dead man driving the car right behind us." He slowly turned and then quickly turned back.

"Oh, my god he's dead!"

For every inch we moved up so did Mr. Death. At first I thought it must be some kind of joke by some medical students driving around town with their practice cadaver, but try as I could I couldn't see anybody else in the car. It took almost thirty minutes for us to finally get to the checkpoint, and the whole time he never moved a muscle, he just keep staring up at nothing. As the immigration officer waved us by I drove through slowly to see her reaction to the Grim Reaper, but she didn't ever look at him and just waved him by, which only confirmed my suspicion that nobody but us could see him. But wait! How could I see him in the rear view mirror? If he was indeed the Grim Reaper I shouldn't be able to see him in the mirror and…. Oh, yeah, you can't see a vampire in the mirror! Damn, it was a really good theory…

As we pulled away I accelerated to 65, but he stayed on our tail and closed the gap. Death was tailgating me. I know I'll slam on the brakes and…No, that's just what the clever bastard wants me to do. I'm not falling for that old trick. Just be cool. Drive safe and sane and nobody will get hurt.

That's when it hit me, maybe the grim Reaper wasn't after me but it was in fact that Loren's time was up? Whew, what a relief, I mean I'm sure going to miss him, but hey, when it's your time what can you do? Out run death? That's it! I put the pedal to the metal. 75, 80, 85 but Death stayed right there. I pulled around a school bus hoping that Death might take the path of least resistance and settle for a bunch of kids but he didn't go for the bait.

The telephone poles were going by like a picket fence as we weaved in and out of the traffic, but there was no letting up with Death. It was like he was working overtime. Things were looking bad for us as I couldn't shake him off, and I figured it would be best just to pull over and get it over with, when there up ahead I saw it, a way out, a way to cheat Death himself, just a quarter mile ahead. "Come on baby just a few more yards." I made a quick lane change between the double yellow lines. The one place the lone rider of the apocalypse couldn't follow us. The car pool lane! "Yeah, I got you, you Bastard!"

Death was pissed; at least I think he was, as his expression never changed. He slowed down and put his blinker on and turned off on the next exit. I didn't get the name of the exit so let this be a warning to you. "The future may be cloudy and unclear, but the end is always near!"