Vacation is over! I got back a few weeks ago and it’s back to the grind! We had a great time however. The first stop was
Long Beach is still the same, but the traffic is really bad, We went to visit my friend Jerry out at the Chino Airport, which should take about 45 minutes, it took over 2 hours, and there wasn’t any accidents or construction going on, just that many cars!! Jerry just bought a 20-year-old Bi-plane and restored it. Its way cool; he’s selling it for only $15,000, I wanted to buy it, but I’m about $14,950 short.
My dad had to get rid of all his horses, all 12, as it was getting a little too hard for him to take care of them. So now they have 4 pigmy goats.
From there we flew to
Carnival was just getting started, and the whole island was jumping. There were Pan Bands, Calypso Bands, and Bands that just banged on pots and pans or what ever they found laying on the ground. The good thing was that the music was great, not like Palauan Music, which is an Oxymoron by the way. I’m not saying that the music may have been a tad too loud but Dara’s (Pauline’s sister) house, which was up on a hillside about 7 miles from the middle of town, the windows were shaking all night long. Well ok, not all night just to about 4 o’clock in the morning, when the chicken would wake up and start in.
I’m not exactly sure of the population of
From there we went up to
We then drove upstate New York to a town called “Fishkill” to see Dain (Pauline’s other sister) I admit I’ve never had the pleasure or responsibility to “name” a town, but I’m almost certain that I could come up with something better than “Fishkill” Ok, I grant you the town was next to a river, but what’s that got to do with dead fish? On the drive up we came across numerous dead skunks, and hardly any dead fish, so I would have voted for “Roadkill” but I’m sure the founding father must have had a good reason…
Before we started the drive we printed out directions from “Map quest” on the computer so we wouldn’t get lost. The second thing that grabs your attention while driving on the parkway (Freeways for those of you out West) is the off ramps were designed for exit speeds of less than 3 miles an hour. The first thing is that whoever laid out the streets and parkways in New York should be taken out back and shot, or worst, required to drive them at rush hour! An additional problem is that they change the name of the parkway every 20 feet or so. We started out on the Long Island parkway, which quickly turned into the Jones beach parkway, then the Mid-state parkway, and we hadn’t even left
After two hours, we were kinda lost; I knew we were close as I could barely make out the distinct aroma of rotting fish. I pulled off the road and stopped at a small farmhouse / restaurant / bar and went inside. There was only one old guy named Frank at the bar, smoking a cigarette while sitting under the “No Smoking” sign. I told him we were lost and if he could please show me where we were at on the map. He took the map from my hand looked it over quite thoroughly, rubbed his whiskers on his chin with his right hand, took a couple of puffs from the cigarette in his left and exhaled the smoke in my general direction, turned the map first to the left then to the right and finally flipped it upside down, took a swallow from his drink, and handed it back to me. “Where you say you were headed sonny?” I repeated the name of the street, and he says, Oh, that’s over in Fishkill a long way from here, at least 3 miles, your in
“Will the meeting please come to order? And will the Master at Arms please remove all those goats, thank you, and while you’re at it, get those damn chickens out of here as well.”
“Ok, first, is there any “new business? The chair recognizes Brother Bernie.”
“Yes I propose that we come up for a name for out fair town.”
“All those in favor, say “yea”
“Yea”
“All those opposed, please step outside to receive a Scarlet letter”
“The chair will consider any suggestions”
Names start flying out, “
“Come on you guys, none of those would ever be a name for a town, and we have to come up with something that’s unique. I know, lets ask Sister Maria WHICH one she prefers?”
Suddenly Brother Howard from the back of the room shouts out “Sister Maria is a WITCH?”
“Where’s a witch?”
“There’s a witch!”
“Master of Arms, take that Bitch Sister Maria out back and burn her and a couple of them goats at the stake. Colonel Sanders, you go with him and throw a few of those damn chickens on for good measures.”
There’s a hush that comes over the meeting hall, which is finally broken by Brother Bernie, “What’s that smell, coming from out back?”
“Ugh, smells like dead fish burning…Master at Arm, did you kill some fish and throw them on…
Brother Bernie jumps up and shouts, “Hey, wait a minute, how about “Kill, Fishville”…no, I’ve got it “Fishkill”
“All in favor say “Yea”
“Yea”
“What is it now Brother Bernie?”
“I was just wondering what we should name Brother Franks’ farm about 3 miles East of here?”
“Christ, Brother Bernie, how about
“Immensely”
From
Got a chance to see some of them for the first time in years, we all had a good time. There was tons of food and Bob’s pool and Jacuzzi were great. Everybody left so to give Bob a chance to be all by him self and clean up without having a bunch of people standing around, pointing at stuff that he should pick up, or missed. It’s hard to find friends like these now a days…
It was time to leave, Pauline’s flight back to
“What? Let me see that” sure enough that’s what it said. “Ok, there must be some kind of mistake, please check your computer.” He walks away with my ticket and comes back about 15 minutes later. “I see there is a mix up, they have you down for August 14, flight 103”
“Flight 103” I said, “Great when does that flight leave?”
“About 10 minutes ago”
“Shit, Ok, put me on flight 113”
“That flight is fully booked, they can put you on standby, but things aren’t looking good as every freak’en Filipino in the US is going home for the holidays” (Ok, he really didn’t say the last part, but it seemed like that at the time)
I sat on the bench off to the side, alone as all the other “standbys” gave up and went home. The lines had all but vanished and all the attendants closed their stations and went to wherever it was that attendants went to between flights. I was just about to give up and call Eric to come and get me, but one attendant came over and asked if I was in fact Leonard Oberg, and that there was ONE seat on the plane and that I would have to pay $25.00 dollars for changing my ticket, I started to point out that it wasn’t my fault but in fact the ticket agent in Manila that made the mistake, but decided better of it, and paid the money and ran to the airplane, helped the flight attendants close the door, found my seat next to the fattest Filipino woman with a 6 month old baby I’ve ever seen. Took one look at the kid, smiled at her and said, “You know, babies hardly blink at all…”
Lenny
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