#29 LENNY’S SURE FIRE BUSINESS FOR PROFITEERING FROM THE IRAQ WAR

I was watching the News the other day when I saw that Halliburton made an unbelievable profit last year; all due to the war in Iraq. So this got me to thinking, “If a company like that can make billions off the war why can’t I?” So I’ve come up with a short list of ideas for possible business that should be able to make me some money from the suffering of others. Here is the first one.

LENNY’S SURE FIRE BUSINESS FOR PROFITEERING FROM THE IRAQ WAR

LENNY’S FLAMING FLAGS

Everyday we all see pictures of terrorists in Iraq, Iran, North Korea, and South Dakota burning the American flag at an alarming rate. Most, if not all of these flags appear to be hand made, of poor quality, don’t burn that well and have to be constantly turned over or waved around to get the full visual effect. Lenny’s Flaming Flags (LFF) will solve all of these problems.

All of LFF are made of the highest quality materials selected from the best of all the cheap cloths imported from China, and are pre -soaked for easy staring. There are two options of all LFF pre- soaked flags available, “slow” or “quick” burn. The “quick burn” is perfect for those times when Fox News does that “around the world in 80 seconds” World News coverage. The “slow burn” flags are of course better suited for CNN News coverage or for any future up coming Hilary Clinton “you tube” videos. Because all LFF are pre -soaked with the same stuff they soak BBQ Brickets with, they are similarly “Easy Starting” and guaranteed to light the first time, each and every time. No more embarrassing moments when trying to light your flag on fire in front of film crews only to have it refuse to burn. If you’re a terrorist this can be extremely embarrassing and can negatively reflect your “Cause” or your “Credibility”

LFF comes with Non Flammable “Fire Retarded” flag poles. What do they mean by “Fire Retarded?” Does than mean that the fire is stupid, that the fire is slow or perhaps dumb? I know what you’re thinking “Lenny how can you be so cruel?” Ok, from now on, to be “political correct” and prevent hate email, I will refer to them as “fire impaired” flag poles…Happy now?

LFF are ready for quick world wide delivery, all orders are shipped in generic brown paper wrapping that is completely untraceable by the FBI, NSC, or the BBC. Likewise all orders made by Email will not go though AOL, Google, Hotmail, or Yahoo, so “They” and by “They” you know who I mean, will not have access to your private information. All phone order will go though the “‘Palau National Communication Corporation” (PNCC) which of course means there’s absolutely no way it can be traced, or go though for that matter, so now that I think about, please don’t brother to call.

The LFF web page has links to all the worlds’ news casts which allows for terrorist, mercenaries, martyrs, or extreme right wing republicans to have instant access to all the latest wars, riots, or social unrest going on all around them. There is a complete “Hot list” of all “Axis of Evil” countries, including all the new “stan” countries that seem to pop up every day. LFF web page also includes Instant Breaking News, and with the LFF deluxe travel agency you can get to where all the action is in minimum time. And for all “LFF Premium members” you can have excusive access to “Lenny’s Picks” for up coming worldwide “hot spots” So far I’m 5 out of 6…If you’re serious about terrorism or you just like burning flags, you can’t be without this!

Please don’t let this get around, and don’t say who told you this, but LFF now has a list of hundreds of “professional rioters” that can and are willing to go anywhere in the world to “Stage” any disturbance that your heart may desire. Simple go to the LFF web page flashing pop-up banner under “Rent-a-Riot” and sign in using the confidential password “Donald Rumsfeld” Note: LFF does not make any profit from any “contract” between you and these individuals, it is mainly ‘cause I haven’t figured out exactly how to do it yet. But I just found out that that bastard Dick Cheney does!

And for a limited time only, for the first 376 customers

Buy 1776 US flags at LFF special price of 16 easy monthly payments of only $138.34 and get 13 Israel flags for free!!!

And remember our motto: Get them while there hot!

Lennyoberg@hotmail.com

March 23 2007